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Showing posts with the label Building My Life On Values That Last

God’s Plan for Your Pain

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“If you are suffering in a manner that pleases God, keep on doing what is right, and trust your lives to the God Who created you, for He will never fail you.”  (1 Peter 4:19 NLT, second edition) Remember what photography was like before everything went digital? When you took a picture, the first thing you’d get was a negative. Then you had to develop the negative into a positive by going into a darkroom and shining a light through it onto photographic paper. This turned the negative into a positive full-color photograph. That’s what God wants to do with the injustices in our lives. We all have them. People have mistreated us. They’ve passed over us. They’ve taken advantage of us. God wants to take all the negatives, shine the light of Jesus through them, and turn them into positives — a full-color picture of the life we were made to live. The Bible says,  “If you are suffering in a manner that pleases God, keep on doing what is right, and trust your lives to the Go...

Unfairness Shows Us We Need Jesus

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“God is letting the world go on its sinful way so that He can test mankind, and so that men themselves will see that they are no better than beasts.”   (Ecclesiastes 3:18 TLB) You’ll hear it from many different quarters these days: People are basically good and unselfish. It’s their environments that turn people’s hearts toward evil. Unfortunately, that theory just doesn’t square with what we see in human nature. If you’ve ever been around small children, you get this. They’re born with a selfish nature. Phrases like, “Feed me! Care for me! I’m the center of attention” are the rule rather than the exception. Human injustice throughout the world and in our own communities also shatters any misconception we have that we humans are all basically good. Left to our own devices, we oppress other people, hoard our food, and generally think about ourselves much more than anyone else. It’s as if God looks at the humanity He created and says, “OK, you think you’re basically good....

God Says Respond to Unfairness with Love

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Unfairness is part of the human condition. You can’t live on this earth for long without feeling like someone has treated you unfairly. Maybe it’s a parent who put you through a miserable childhood. Maybe it’s an employer who treats you differently than your co-workers. Maybe you feel like you were treated unfairly by the legal process. You can choose to respond to the people who hurt you by hurting them. That’s the easiest choice to make, no doubt about it. But God gives us another option in His Word: “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:43-44 NIV). When people hurt you, they expect you to retaliate. They expect you to seek revenge. But God wants you to do the exact opposite. He wants you to respond in love. Respond to mistreatment with love, and you keep the other person from controlling you. Booker T. Washington once said, “I will never allow another ...

A Fresh Start After Sexual Sin

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“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”   (1 John 1:9 NIV) God’s standards never change. Premarital sex is unacceptable. It always has been. It always will be. Living together without getting married is unacceptable to God. It always has been. It always will be. Adultery, being unfaithful in your marriage, is unacceptable to God. It always has been. It always will be. Pornography is unacceptable to God. It always has been. It always will be. But if you’ve been guilty of one of those sins, that’s not the end of your story. God gives you a chance to come clean and start over. How do you do that? 1) Repent.  Repent means “to change your mind.” You say, “You were right, God. I was wrong. What I did was sin.” You don’t rationalize your sin or excuse it. The most important part is, you do this now. If you’re currently in the middle of an affair, end it today. 2) Receive forgiveness. ...

The Battle for Sexual Purity Starts in Your Mind

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Every temptation starts in the mind. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Be careful what you think, because your thoughts run your life” (NCV). The battle for sexual purity is won or lost in your mind. Any time you see people really messing up their lives, you can bet their problems didn’t start with their actions, because their actions began with their thoughts. They lingered on dumb thoughts before making dumb decisions. The Bible says this very clearly — and science backs it up: The way you think determines how you feel. Feelings motivate actions. To change your life, you don’t just work on a bad habit, the action. Instead, you work on what caused it — the thoughts that caused the feelings that caused the action. God says your thoughts control your life. This explains how affairs happen. First, you begin by accepting sinful thoughts into your mind. “What would it be like to have sex with that person? Is it so wrong?” You start having doubts, and you start fantasizing in your mind. You be...

Sexual Purity Begins with a Commitment

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Is it possible in the 21st century to live a sexually pure life? To refrain from sex before marriage and stay sexually faithful during marriage? Yes! But it has to start with a commitment. The Bible says, “How can [anyone] stay on the path of purity? By living according to Your Word” (Psalm 119:9 NIV). To be sexually pure in the 21st century (or any other century for that matter), you’ll need a standard to live by. You can either build your standard by yourself or choose God’s standard. You must decide whether God knows more about your life than you do. God says several things in His Word that aren’t popular — particularly when it comes to sex. Why does He say those things? He knows more about sex than you do. He also understands the implications far better than you do. You have to decide: “God, when I don’t understand it, when I don’t like it, and when it’s not popular, I’m going to do what your Word says regardless of what I think or what my friends think.” Until you’re wi...

Four Steps to Forgiving Others

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“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”  (Ephesians 4:31-32 NIV) Too many of us don’t really understand what forgiveness is. We struggle through all kinds of misconceptions about what it means to forgive others. I mentioned a few of these specific misconceptions in yesterday’s devotional. I’m convinced that if more people knew what real forgiveness looked like, they’d be much more willing to forgive instead of holding onto past hurts at an unhealthy level. The Bible clearly calls us to forgive others. Galatians 6:1 says,  “Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently”  (NIV). So if God expects us to forgive others, what does healthy, biblical forgiveness look like? Here’s a four-part process that we should walk through as we’re dealing ...

Forgive Others Because You Need Forgiveness, Too

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“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”  (Matthew 6:14-15 NIV) Forgiveness is a two-way street. You can’t expect others to forgive you if you are unwilling to forgive them. Jesus says it like this: “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:14-15 NIV). It’s a basic biblical truth. You reap what you sow. One time, a man came to John Wesley and said, “I could never forgive that person.” Wesley said, “Then I hope you never sin. When you are unforgiving, you’re burning the very bridge you need to walk across.” When you’re not forgiving of others, you’re setting yourself up to not be forgiven yourself. Because God says you’re going to need forgiveness in the future. Whe...

Resentment Hurts You More Than Anyone Else

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If you hang on to resentment, it always hurts you more than anyone else. Resentment is self-destructive and counterproductive. Resentment just makes no sense. If any guy ever had a reason to be resentful, it was Job. He was a godly man, who had everything he wanted — wealth, fame, and a great family. One day he lost it all. Enemy nations killed all his livestock. All of his children were killed. He got a terrible disease. He literally lost everything he had. All he had left was a nagging wife. Then his friends came along and said, “Job, it’s all your fault.” Though Job had every reason to be resentful, he tells us in the biblical book named after him that resentment is a bad idea. Job says, “To worry yourself to death with resentment would be a foolish, senseless thing to do” (Job 5:2 GNT). Job was a wise man. He knew he didn’t have time to be resentful. He knew it was foolish, senseless, and illogical. If you think back through experiences in your own life, you’ll probably...

Forgive Because God Forgave You

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We will all be hurt in this life. Many times we’ll be hurt intentionally by what people say about us or what people do to us. In fact, any time we read the word “forgiveness” we instantly call to mind certain heartaches, hurts, and problems from our past. The memories are still fresh because we’ve been hurt very deeply. Because of how deeply we’ve been hurt, it’s hard to consider forgiving the perpetrators. But the Bible gives us one very important reason we need to forgive. We forgive others because God forgave us. The Bible says in Ephesians 4:32, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (NIV). Ponder how much God has forgiven you, and it’ll cause you to be more forgiving of those who have hurt you. The converse is also true. If you don’t feel forgiven, you’ll have a hard time forgiving others. If you typically have a tough time forgiving others, you may not truly feel forgiven yourself. Think of it like this: Go...

How Do You Treat People Who Serve You?

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One of the greatest tests of your character is how you treat people who are trying to serve you. Whether it’s a waitress, a waiter, a clerk, an employee, a secretary, your children, or your spouse, how you treat those who serve you tells me a great deal about you. In fact, when I’ve been involved in hiring decisions of Saddleback staff, I often take people to restaurants to see how they interact with the server. Someone who is rude and demanding in those situations has a character flaw that I don’t want as part of our team. Jesus tells us, “Do to others as you would have them do to you” (Luke 6:31 NIV). That may be the simplest yet most important character test in the Bible. The social psychologist Eric Hoffer once said, “Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength.” It takes no intelligence at all to be rude. The best place to practice this important character trait of respect is at home. More marriages are ruined by rudeness than anything else. When I used to do mar...

Four Secrets to Answered Prayer

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“Then [Nehemiah] said, ‘O Lord, God of heaven, the great and awesome God Who keeps His covenant of unfailing love with those who love Him and obey His commands, listen to my prayer! … I confess that we have sinned against you .… Please remember what You told Your servant Moses: “If you are unfaithful to Me, I will scatter you among the nations. But if you return to Me and obey My commands and live by them, then even if you are exiled to the ends of the earth, I will bring you back to the place I have chosen for My Name to be honored” …. Please grant me success today by making the king favorable to me. Put it into his heart to be kind to me.’”  (Nehemiah 1:5-11 NLT, second edition) Here are four secrets to answered prayer from the life of Nehemiah: 1) Base your request on God’s character.  Pray like you know God will answer you: “I’m expecting you to answer this prayer because of Who You are. You are a faithful God. You are a great God. You are a loving God. You are ...

Four Steps to Fighting Spiritual Warfare

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“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”  (Ephesians 6:12 NIV) There are four things we need to do when we are battling spiritual warfare in our lives: 1) Acknowledge the adversary.  Satan is real (1 Peter 5:8-9). Why would God send His Son to fight what does not exist? The Bible says in 1 John 3:8, “The Son of God came to destroy these works of the Devil” (NLT). When you’re being attacked, it’s proof that you’re a believer. The more you make an impact for God, the more the Devil is going to fight you. You never outgrow it; it just gets more intense. 2) Accept God-given authority.  Most believers are ignorant about the authority they have to use against the Devil. Matthew 28:18-19 says we have all authority in heaven and earth. Then Jesus says, “Therefore go and make disciples” (NIV). He transfers...

You Can Disagree Without Being Disagreeable

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Many people, including Christians, think they only have to show respect for people with whom they agree. Nothing could be further from the truth. As a believer in today’s world, there are many activities in our society that I abhor and actions with which I clearly disagree. But I still show people respect — even if I know their behavior is wrong. Why? First , I remember that ultimately every individual will be accountable to God for their own attitudes, actions, and behaviors. One day God will settle the score. Each of us will have to give an account for our behavior. Second , I’m not God. The people with whom I disagree aren’t accountable to me. They are accountable to God. It is not my job to be a policeman, running around trying to make everyone who is not a believer act like they are believers. In fact, the Bible says people can’t act the way God wants them to act until they have a relationship with Him. The Bible says, “Each of us will give an account of ourselves to...

Every Person Is Worthy of Respect

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“Show proper respect to everyone.”  (1 Peter 2:17a NIV) Respect has become an endangered value over the past few decades. We live in the “Age of Irreverence,” where sarcasm rules the day and everyone loves a good put down. Yet the Bible makes it clear that stable families — and stable societies — are built around respect. The Bible commands us to honor our parents, respect civil authority, and respect church leaders. Wives are called to respect husbands in Ephesians. In the book of 1 Peter, husbands are called to respect wives. Just to make it clear that the Bible leaves no one out, the Bible also tells us to “show proper respect to everyone” (1 Peter 2:17a NIV). Everyone, regardless of beliefs or behaviors, is worthy of respect. Why? 1) God made everyone.  Psalm 8:5 says, “You [God] made them inferior only to Yourself; You crowned them with glory and honor” ( GNT). God doesn’t make junk. No one is worthless. People make wrong decisions all the time, but the...

What Should You Do on the Sabbath?

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We all must make a conscious decision to make time for things other than work. If we don’t, we’ll never rest. I make a conscious decision about how many hours I’ll work each week, and I stick to it. I encourage everyone to do the same thing. Otherwise, we’ll quickly burn out. It’s like a bow and arrow. When a bow is constantly strung tight, it loses its power. It has to be unstrung periodically. You need to force yourself to set realistic hours and then hold yourself accountable — and ask someone to check up on you in the process. Getting proper rest isn’t pop psychology or just good advice. It’s so important to the heart of God that he put it in the Ten Commandments — along with “Do not murder,” “Do not lie,” and “Do not steal.” “Take a day off every seven days” made it on God’s top 10 list of moral behaviors. Shouldn’t it make it on ours too? The Bible says, “You have six days in which to do your work, but the seventh day is a day of rest dedicated to Me” (Exodus 20:9-10 GN...

You’re Not God — Stop Acting Like It!

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“Only someone too stupid to find his way home would wear himself out with work.”   (Ecclesiastes 10:15 GNT) You’re not God. You don’t have all the answers. You can’t do everything. If you’re struggling to find balance in your life, that one admission can transform everything. The Bible says, “Only someone too stupid to find his way home would wear himself out with work” (Ecclesiastes 10:15 GNT). It’s just plain dumb to wear yourself out with work. When you overwork, you’re playing God. You’re saying that it all depends on you. That the world will crash down around us if you don’t keep the world spinning. That’s just not true! You’re not the general manager of the universe. You can resign. The universe will not fall apart. God has it under control. Often one of reasons we do this to ourselves is that we try to please everyone. Learn this lesson today: You can’t please everyone. Even God can’t please everyone! One person wants it to rain. Someone else wants it to be sun...

The Key to a Balanced Life: Jesus

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If you want to live a truly balanced life, you can only look at one person in all of history as a model: Jesus. If you put Him at the center of your life, your life will be more balanced. Think of your life like a wheel. The center of the wheel is a hub. All of the spokes of your life (which represent your relationships, your family, your career, your goals, etc.) come from that hub. We all build our lives around some sort of hub. The question is, what will be your hub? Will it be your family? Will it be your career? Will it be money? Or will it be Jesus? How do you do know what you’re building your life around? Take a look at whatever you think about the most. That’s what is driving you. The center of your life is critical to developing a balanced life. A solid center leads to a solid life. A weak, flimsy center leads to a weak life. When I hear people tell me that their lives are coming unglued, it usually means one thing: They have a faulty center. Something other than Go...

Your Work and Your Worth Are Two Different Things

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We can come up with many excuses for overworking. Sometimes we blame it on providing for our family. Other times we insist our work is so important that to slow down would be negligent. But usually, it’s a values problem. We start valuing the wrong things. Specifically, we value the acquisition of stuff above all else. The Bible says, “I have also learned why people work so hard to succeed: it is because they envy the things their neighbors have” (Ecclesiastes 4:4 GNT). God says we have two options: We can either spend all of our time keeping up with the Joneses, or we can forget them and reduce our stress level. But we can’t have both. That’s how this becomes a question of values. Do you want more stuff, or do you want less stress and more time with your family? The choice is yours. When is enough, enough? You can win the rat race, but you’re still a rat! Jesus said it like this: “What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?” (Mark 8:36 N...

Just Enough Time to Do God’s Will

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“All of us should … enjoy what we have worked for. It is God’s gift.”   (Ecclesiastes 3:13 GNT) In a 21st century world where we’re overworked, overstressed, and over-scheduled, this may be one of the most significant and freeing sentences you’ll ever read: You have just enough time to do God’s will. That means if you don’t feel you have enough time in your day, one of two things is true. Either: You’re doing things God doesn’t intend for you to do. You’re doing the things God intended the wrong way. God wouldn’t give you a list of things to do and not give you the time to do them. Either you’re trying to do too much or you’re wasting time. There’s really no other option. Either way, you need to learn to enjoy the moment. The Bible says, “All of us should … enjoy what we have worked for. It is God’s gift” (Ecclesiastes 3:13 GNT). Too many of us fall victim to a terrible trap. I call it “when and then” thinking. We believe “when” we achieve a particular goal, we’...